


A Briefing on What Death Means

by circlegirl



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Dream Bubbles, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Friendship, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Kindness, Loneliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 02:35:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5989132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/circlegirl/pseuds/circlegirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A dead Nepeta's found herself in a dreambubble with an upset, recently dead Eridan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Briefing on What Death Means

There are periods of death that are lonelier than periods of life, and periods of death that are less lonely than most of life. Right now, the dream bubbles are not in your favour. **  
**

You love love LOVE it when you get to talk to your friends and reconnect, but you don’t like the way that it feels, necessarily. It feels fleeting and fake because nothing is quite permanent. You suppose it also feels weird because you’re not used to Equius not being there to either revert to talking to or him trying to control what you do.

He probably wouldn’t have approved of this new excursion of yours. Nearly all of the versions you’ve met of him probably wouldn’t, and by this point you’ve met quite a few.

You’re on the asteroid–it’s quite a common feature of the afterlife at this point with all the different lives entangled in yours that had memories there–and it’s dreary and cold and alone. You see a dark figure in the distance, sitting alone. You don’t recognise the person at all, but they seem rather sad, so you go up to them to investigate. You take in their frayed scarf and striped pants. There’s an abnormal streak of purple in his hair, and his face is in his palms. He doesn’t really seem to notice you. You know you’ve never _met_ him, per se, but since when you tap his shoulder several times and he responds with a wavy accent, you guess it’s probably Eridan.

“Wwhat do you wwant?” he demands. His anger kind of turns you off, but you think it might just be a response to the lonely state he’s in. Plus, it’s not like you really have much else to do right now.

“Well, I just was in this purr-lace and wanted to greet you,” you respond. He looks up then, probably recognising who you are.

“Nep?” he says. His voice sounds so exasperated. You wonder what he’s been doing that’s been so tiring. You nod though.

“And you must be Mr. Ampurra,” you reply. You see a bit of agitation grow in his face. You know it’s probably directed at you, which isn’t any fun, but ignore it anyways. “Why are you all alone?”  At that he gives out a harsh sounding laugh. He sounds desperate, and it tugs at your heart.

“Wwhy wwouldn’t I be?” he says after a minute, after looking at you and seeing you stare at him, waiting for a response. He seems dangerous, almost like a wild animal that’s preparing for your attack. But you’d be his friend. He shouldn’t feel that way around you.

“So you’re not as sad,” you say. He looks at you like saying that is something incredulous. Like he doesn’t understand. Or maybe like you’re just missing the entire point.

“I thought you didn’t like me? Wwhy are _you_ here?” The defense is getting more obvious. You want to take that away from him without using any offense.

“I don’t really think I e-fur knew you,” you respond. “You were still my furriend. You were just a bit of a jerk.”

“It doesn’t matter. Do you evven know wwhat I did? In my timeline?”

“No.” He gives out another harsh laugh.

“I killed Kanaya,” he starts out, and you can already feel anger building up. You want to hear him out before you react, though. He seems to be trying to push you away right now. “An’. Fef.”

“Why?” you ask, trying to sound gentle. Death doesn’t phase you much anymore, and you really don’t hate anyone except and underlying abhorration for a certain clown. Death gives you time to work things out. You think maybe he hasn’t been dead too long.

“Does it matter? I killed them. So wwhy don’t you just take your stupid claww and claww up my face or leavve me the fuck alone.”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me why,” you say. Truth it, you don’t know when you’re going to leave with the way the bubbles shift. But you’re gonna go with that. He probably hasn’t navigated the bubbles enough yet. “So why?”

“Because I had no one, and she wwas comin’ at me. And everythin’ wwas red. I swear evven her cullin’ fork wwas fuckin’ red. So I shot her. And then I wwrecked the matriorb. And Kanaya had her,” he stops, almost recoiling. “And I shot her too. Is that wwhat you wwanted to hear? Wwill you do wwhatevver you needa and just _leavve_?”

“How did you die then?” you ask. He looks amazed by you, amazed by the fact you weren’t hurting him or leaving. Sure, you’re angry. But you don’t even know if that was you timeline, and it’s not like they’re gone forever, and it’s not like they’re the ones suffering right now in front of you. And it sounds like they were both after him anyways, though you don’t know how justified that was if all he was seeing was red.

“Kan didn’t die apparently. She got her revvenge,” he says. “Long due anywways. Sol should’ve gotten me.”

“I’m sorry,” you say. He looks like your sympathy burns him. It kinda makes you want to cover him in it.

“Wwell?” he says. “You knoww noww. Wwhat are you wwaiting for?” He’s so demanding you want to laugh. You don’t even really know what he’s waiting for. Your anger? You abandoning him? You hug him instead, wrapping your arms around the silly, sad troll. He shakes in your arms, and you don’t know how to respond to all the pain he’s feeling. You’re better at trying to calm trolls down from anger than pain.

“AC tries to cheer the fur-abulously dressed troll up,” you say and giggle.

“Are you really trying to roleplay aloud?” Eridan responds, and he does sound judgmental, but there’s less distress in his voice.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s fuckin’ stupid,” he insults, but there’s not much heat in his tone. “Thank you.” You stop hugging him and look at his face. Some trace purple tears have found their way from his eyes. He wipes them away absentmindedly. You don’t know why (okay maybe you do a bit. Maybe you can just see a lot more than you want to admit from the way he’s reacting and the way you can feel him feeling), but you really just want to hold him more. He’s still looking at you scared and wide-eyed, and you don’t know what to do. You don’t ever want him to feel alone again. You don’t ever want to feel alone again. You’re cut from that train of thought as he surprises you when he speaks up.

“Ampurra thanks AC and wwants her to knoww that she can leavve noww, an’ he’s grateful.” You smile really wide.

“Now who’s stupid?” you joke. And you see him smile, and you realise that things are working out better now. Maybe you’re being successful.

“Wwhy the fuck havven’t you left yet?” he shouts, anger suddenly back in his tone near instantly. More _defense_. Why does all of his defense have to be offense? It _makes_ you want to leave so you don’t have to deal with the stressful yelling and aggression.

“Because you’re my furriend,” you say. And he looks at you like you’ve yet again said something incredulous. You decide it’s your turn to surprise him. You kiss him. There’s blood on his lips that you feel smear onto your own, and you honestly aren’t doing anymore than feeling his lips on your own, but it makes you feel giddy. He pulls away, and you realise _maybe_ that was uncalled for. But it wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to flirt with you when you were alive.

You realise that that was your first kiss, during life and death. Your shipping wall never could have predicted that.

He’s still sort of sitting there, like he doesn’t know how to respond to you. He hasn’t really known all this time. But it’s not until then, when you’re looking at him and remembering all you do know about him–mostly stuff you’ve heard from other sources like Equius and Karkat–that you realise what mistake you just made. Because you don’t know if you’re flushed for him. You have no idea. Maybe. Maybe later. But you don’t want him to pressure you more. You don’t want to feel forced. You forgot what the quadrants meant to him.

He’s just sitting there, not saying anything. It’s almost like he’s _still_ expecting you to suddenly disappear (which was actually a possibility so maybe that was why. But voluntarily you were staying with him).

“Furriends?” you say hesitantly. He smiles, and he kind of looks like he’s in pain, but it’s still real and genuine. He hugs you this time. You realise that maybe what you’ve said to him today really has meant a lot to him. It certainly seems to appear that way. And you really do honestly want to be friends with him. He seems like a lot more fun than you ever expected. And maybe red some day. Who knows. Definitely not you.

“Furriends,” he replies. And you smile wide over his back.

**Author's Note:**

> I was requested to write a fluffy erinep ficlet and this is what happened. I've never ever written from Nepeta's perspective before, so I'm sorry if I'm off on her voice or anything! I just thought I'd give it a shot.


End file.
